This is an ambitious task to challenge the most able pupils. When making assessments, teachers need to recognise that pupils may not respond to all parts of the task evenly. For example, it is possible that they may evaluate the use of language and presentational features more successfully in response to one poem rather than the other. In such cases, teachers should regard the task as contributing evidence towards a level 8, and look for further evidence in other work to confirm their final assessment.

Main focus

Responding to versions of poems in two different contexts, and commenting on variations of meaning in the choice and presentation of words.

Reading Assessment Focuses

4. identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts, including grammatical and presentational features at text level
5. explain and comment on the writer’s use of language, including grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level
6. identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints and the overall effect of the text on the reader.

About the task

Pupils are asked to write a response of no more than about 1,100 words after reading the poems provided. They have to be able to explain and comment on the use of language and presentational features and comment on the overall effect of the variations in the texts.

Resources

Resources file including:

• task sheet for pupils
• the poem Bye Now / Goodbye Now by James Berry
• three English translations of the Italian poem Veglia by Giuseppi Ungaretti.

Objectives

• To compare the presentation of ideas, values or emotions in related or contrasting texts (Framework for teaching English Y9: Text level Reading 7)
• To recognise layers of meaning in the writer’s choice of words (Framework for teaching English Y9: Word level Vocabulary 7)
• To comment on interpretations of the same text or idea using terms appropriate for critical analysis (Framework for teaching English Y9: Text level Reading 10).

Challenge

• To comment on and explain differences in choices and arrangement of words and draw conclusions about the effects of translation.

Overview

The teacher can give the task and reading to the pupils in advance of any writing, so that they have time to read, think and discuss and shape responses. A guided reading session would be ideal.

It can help if the pupils hear the poems read aloud and have opportunities to describe and explain the differences that they hear and relate those to the words used and their arrangement on the page.

The teacher can talk through the task, the assessment criteria and the ways in which they can construct their writing in main sections and how these can be subdivided. The pupils might be reminded of the importance of relating what they say to the words on the page and that it will be helpful, particularly with Veglia, to take time with an English dictionary checking the differences between apparently similar words. They can also be reminded of or discuss the vocabulary for describing differences between words and word classes.

The teacher can direct and prompt discussion (including general issues about ‘versions’ and translations) and build on pupils’ previous experience and reading.

The teacher can respond to questions and point pupils to other sources of information (for example other translations of Veglia to be found on the internet).

It will be helpful to pupils, if there is time, to edit and revise their writing independently for precision and overall effect.

Teaching activities

Introduction

• The pupils are given the task sheet and the poems. The teacher then introduces and clarifies the task and the final outcome. An initial sharing of views on translation and the possible benefits and difficulties will be helpful.
• The pupils have time on their own to read the James Berry poem using their own strategies, such as text marking, to highlight key phrases of interest or anything which causes uncertainty.
• Pupils work in pairs or groups (a guided reading group or groups would be ideal) to discuss their initial responses to the three points raised in the task, trying to be as specific as possible about the language and the ‘sound’ of each version.
• The teacher allows time for pupils to make notes about the poem or to draft initial comments on this section of the task.
• A plenary on this poem, or a reminder of the points made if it has been an earlier session, leads into similar work on Veglia. It is helpful for the teacher to clarify that these are three separate translations of the same poem, and show how to refer to each one, either by the English title or by their letter (poem a, b or c.)
• The teacher can prompt discussion to compare different aspects of the different translations, eg choice of words (the titles themselves are a good start), tense, word order, and the arrangement of words on the page, including which words have a line to themselves and why. Once again, pupils can be directed towards how they might explain the effect of these differences.
• The teacher allows time for pupils to make notes about these translations and possibly to draft initial comments on this section of the task.
• A plenary discussion of their views now on the effects of translation and different uses of language will support their writing of the final section of the task.
• The writing should be done independently and time allowed to revise and edit.

Teacher intervention for the more able

The teacher works with able pupils as a guided group, eg at the point where initial comments have been drafted, and shares and compares the clarity of what has been said, challenging views and evidence or encouraging the group to challenge each other.

Next steps

• Other versions of the poem Veglia can be found on the internet and compared or rated for preference.
• The original can also be found on the internet and, using their own knowledge or with the aid of an Italian dictionary, pupils can try to see what the original said, how the words looked on the page and, if possible, what it sounds like in the original language. They can compare the sound of the Italian with English versions and link back to their work on the James Berry poem.
• Read and discuss other poems written in dialect or non standard English and their own ‘translations’ of them into standard English.

Examples of pupils’ work

Four examples

Sources

‘Bye Now / Goodbye Now’ by James Berry
from 'When I Dance' by James Berry (Puffin 1990)

‘Veglia’ by Giuseppi Ungaretti

Three English translations

• ‘Wake’ (translated by Fiamma Ferraro)
• ‘Deathwatch’ translated by Sonia Raiziss and Alfredo de Palchi (Italian editors for Modern European Poetry ed, Willis Barnstone (Bantam Books, New York 1966)
• ‘Vigil’ (translator not acknowledged)